September 29, 2009

Happy Halloween

When I was a kid I loved Halloween. Hell, I still love Halloween. It is my favorite holiday and I look forward to it every year. So as the days count down to this year's Halloween celebration I give you this enjoy:

September 28, 2009

What More Can I Do?

I am very frustrated right now. I am frustrated with my job. I am frustrated with my financial situation. I am frustrated with my health and wellness. I am frustrated with some of my relationships. But mostly I am frustrated with myself because I have a tendency to psych myself out of achieving the things I want. Too many times I sabotage myself by thinking "I'm just not good enough." I know that I have a big personality and come off as cock-sure and cavalier, but I really do have my own issues that cause me to self destruct. Something has got to give soon. I just need one good thing to happen in my life. I don't think that is too much to ask.

September 18, 2009

Ardvark Dreamin'

So I have this group of friends, whom I love, who call themselves the Ardvarks. We came together almost ten years ago. There were many of us who were not in a good place in our lives when we became friends. There were some of us who were in long standing relationships. It just all came together at that time in our lives. I could write a book about those early days of the Ardvarks (we are well aware of the misspelling), and maybe some day I will. But it was all about the friendship.

We really hit our stride somewhere in our late 20s. Some of us were divorced. Some of us were trying not to get married. We were in love with pop culture, and we were in love with life. We took in people who needed us. We took in people whom we needed in order to not become that jaded. There were tears. There was laughter. There were nights of magic and there were nights of sheer pain. I almost died one night in a bad car wreck that was both alcohol and drug induced. But through it all we stuck together.

I have some of the best memories of my life because of all night poker games at the Sanctuary South. We all lived together, some of us literally, but every night was a party. We lived hard and we loved even harder. I changed a lot during those years. It all got started in September of 2000 and came crashing down in late 2003. In the end some of us married, and some of us got divorced shortly thereafter. But it was a great ride that I hate had to end. I miss those days, probably more than any others, and I wish I could go back. But sooner or later we all grow up. Even if we don't want to.