Insomniac's Dream

I don't sleep. Ok, I don't sleep like a normal person. I never have. Even when I was a baby I did not sleep through the night. At least that's what my Mom has told me, I don't really remember. But it sounds like something I would (not) do. When I was in college my insomnia got completely out of whack and I stayed awake for close to four days. I was extremely pale and lost a visible amount of weight in just four days. Plus the dark circles under the eyes and the deadening of all the senses are really good times.

If you are one of the lucky ones that does not suffer from this affliction let me try and draw you a picture. Actually the best two examples I can come up with are both movies. Fight Club and The Machinist are both excellent examples of what the world looks like after a few days of not sleeping. The only difference is that those are movies and real life is no where near as cool.

I say all of this because I cannot sleep. Looking back on the past week I can count one night where I slept more than three hours in a row, and that was actually during the day Wednesday. I can also count four days (not in a row) of no sleep what so ever. I need drugs.

Of monkeys and...well, monkeys

Monkeys are funny. If they weren't such shit throwing little bastards I might be convinced to have one of my own. But it seems that monkeys only have a certain capacity for caring about other monkeys. Scientists call this a Monkey Sphere. You can read about it here: http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

This makes perfect sense to me. What that says about me is up for debate but I believe that we, as humans, can expand our range of caring better than monkeys. Having said that, I am currently trying to expand my monkey sphere. Not globally mind you. That would just be ludicrous. No dear readers, I am currently taking applications for new friends. I still love (ok, mildly like) my old friends but I believe that new friends keep you young (or at least immature).

Who am I kidding, only my old friends read this thing and my capacity to care is about as big as a snow pea. Enjoy the above article.

Roll Tide Roll!!

I have lived in Tennessee my entire life. Having said that, look closely at the shirt I am wearing in this picture. That's right, I pull for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide. The vast majority of my family and friends are University of Tennessee fans. Some because they went to school there. Some because they have family who went to school there. But mostly it's because they live in Tennessee and by God they bleed Orange! Because of this most of them cannot figure out why I pull for the Tide.

Well, I'll tell ya. Twelve National Championships, 21 SEC championships and the greatest football coach of all time, Paul "Bear" Bryant. That and they routinely kick the crap out of UT. This makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Why? Look at the picture to the right. Notice I am wearing a Vanderbilt wind breaker. My Grandfather, Father and Uncle all went o Vandy and I grew up in the stands watching them find new ways to lose games. Add on top of that all the obnoxious orange and white that holds my beloved state captive year 'round and it makes for one pissed off young sports fan. I endured many, many years of ridicule from classmates as well as people on the street for being a Vandy fan. Luckily for me I had family in Alabama who had opened my eyes to the crimson and white years earlier. So anytime a self-righteous UT fan started giving me crap for my Vandy t-shirt I would ask them when how long it had been since they beat the Tide. This coupled with insults about graduation rates and national collegiate ranking did not earn me very many new friends.

Years rolled by and I got older but my love for College Football only grew.

That's me on New Year's Day 1992. I was 17-years-old and just a few months from graduation. I remember that New Year's pretty vividly. Not for the football per se (although I do seem to remember watching UT blow a second half lead to Penn State that was funny to watch) but more for being around good friends and knowing that life was about to change. It was a good year. Plus I discovered Jenga that day. Many drunken nights trying to pull little blocks out from under other blocks followed in the years to come.

The best thing about that year was my Tide won it's twelfth National Championship in the Sugar Bowl against the hated Miami Hurricanes. I'm sure Gino Torretta probably still has nightmares about that Alabama defensive line.

For the next seven years Alabama's fortune wained and it got down right ugly in the mid-90's with recruiting violations and losing several games in a row to hated rivals. But things have turned around since Nick Saban came to Tuscaloosa and this year looks to be a big step toward a return to the top of the polls. It should be an interesting Fall. Roll Tide, Roll!!