Round Here...

I keep going back to these old MySpace blogs because they tell of a much different me. Sometimes it is interesting to see where you were at a different point in your life. This one is about a life changing event that happened to me when I was 23. Enjoy...

Sometimes That's Just About As F***ed-Up As You Can Be...

1997 was a landmark year for me. Over the next few blogs I plan on telling a few stories from that year. So please hold on for a lot of self-indulgence.

February 3, 1997

I HATED the Counting Crows prior to this date. Adam Duritz's whiny voice and their roots rock music was no where near what I wanted to hear. I loved METAL dammit! So when my girlfriend dropped more than a few hints about wanting to go to the show I resisted as much as I could. Finally her constant hints forced me into buying tickets to the show. If nothing else I liked what I had heard from their opening act. She was a new comer on the music scene and sounded like she had some potential. Her name was Fiona Apple.

The night of the show I was blasting Master of Puppets all the way to my girlfriend's house. I was not going to be brought down by a whiny voice and earnest lyrics. I needed to stay "up." The last few months had been rough and I did not need to be dragged down any lower than I already was. She was just going to have to understand that I was only going to this show for her. That's all. It was a tense car ride to TPAC.

Okay, a little back story is needed here. I had been suffering from a serious case of depression for a couple months prior to this concert. As some of you know depression is not a polite disease. It shows up whenever it likes and takes its sweet time in leaving. I guess it really never goes away but the point here is that things had been tense for a while. Add on top of that a really bad situation with some friends and a girlfriend who couldn't have an adult relationship and things got even worse. So this night had a lot of baggage attached.

Anyway, we arrive at TPAC and take our seats. Fiona Apple took the stage and gave a hell of a performance. This looked to be the highlight of my night. In between sets we got up to go to the restroom and on the way I started to have an anxiety attack. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror for what seemed like an eternity trying to talk myself down. When I finally calmed myself I walked back into the hallway and waited for her. My heart felt like it was about to explode. I could hear it beating in my head and I could feel it in my throat. Cold sweat was starting to form on my forehead. I was starting to get scared.

My girlfriend walked up to me and immediately asked if I was okay. I told her what was happening. She just stood there staring at me. I took a few deep breaths and we made our way back to our seats. A few minutes went by before Counting Crows took the stage, a few tense moments. I could sense that there was something she wanted to say, but she never said it. I was not having a good night. Finally the lights went down.

(I'll spare you all the details about set design and set lists. If you want a fairly accurate idea listen to Across A Wire: Live In New York.)

Since I was not a fan of the band I only knew a couple songs but there were two key moments to that night. First was when they played Mr. Jones. I was sick of this song. If you remember alternative radio from 1994 then you know that Mr. Jones played about nine times an hour that year. I hated that song but this night they were playing a different version. It was slow and melancholy and suddenly told the story of my life. About half way through the song I was at the point of tears. Everything that had piled on me for the last few months became intensified in the soft purple stage lights and Adam Duritz's mournful voice. It took everything I had not to loose it right in the middle of the crowd. This song was born new to me that night. It became a friend.

The second moment that blew me away was the song Round Here. I had always secretly loved this song. Many times I had remarked that if someone else did this song it would be great. On this night on this stage the Counting Crows proved to me that no one else needs to touch Round Here. They brought it and they brought hard. If Mr. Jones was melancholy Round Here was deep dark depression. And this too was a different version than I was used to. They made it longer, Adam ad-libed lyrics in the middle and when the song comes back out of the bridge into the final verse Adam did something simple but poetic. He kept repeating the line "The girl on the car in the parking lot says, "Hey man, why don't you take a shot? can't you see my walls are crumbling?" over and over again until the anticipation was unbearable. Then the band kicked back in and the place erupted! Absolutely beautiful.

When the show was over I could not believe what I had just seen. I could not believe what I was thinking. I could not believe that I was now a Counting Crows fan. The next day I went out and bought everything I could find. A few days later I wandered into Disc Go Round (Now called CD Warehouse) and discovered that there were bootleg cds and videos of my new favorite (okay, second favorite) band. Life was good. Since February 3, 1997 I have seen Counting Crows in concert eight other times. That's once more than I've seen U2. But that's a story for another blog...