November 1, 2010

One Year Later...

One year ago tonight I had my last drink of alcohol. In all honesty I had many drinks of alcohol that evening. So many that I had to call for a ride home. Thank God for that wisdom. That ride home started me on my path to today. I came clean on a lot of stuff that was going on in my life that night. Included my plans to commit suicide in the coming days. That's the part I haven't disclosed to everyone for the last year. A combination of depression and severe alcohol abuse started me down that path. It's not something I like to think much about these days. Up until that point I never knew what would drive someone to such a desperate measure. And to be honest, I'm still not one hundred percent sure how I got there. But I'm glad I didn't do anything stupid.

The past year of my life has been one continuous amazement after another. Everything before November 1, 2009 feels like a bad dream now. My life has been good, even great over the last twelve months. I've regained a new sense of hope and confidence that I thought was lost to time. I have gotten over my anxiety related to aging. I have started playing music again. I have a job that I care about and enjoy. And to top it all off, I have met the woman who not only softened my heart to mush but she is also the woman I plan to marry. This past year has been an amazing journey, I can't wait to see how the rest of my life plays out.

4 comments:

Sylvia said...

My Sweet, Sweet Alan,

I've said this before and I'll say it again, I love you for everything you used to be, everything you are now and everything you will be in the future.

I am so amazed and so proud of you for choosing to do the difficult thing, which was to face your fears head on and take those necessary measures to clean up your life, instead of running away - something we both know entirely too much about... You are an inspiration to me personally, for so many reasons.

Congratulations on a year of strength, sobriety and awesomeness. I look forward to many, many more with you.

megaphonic.wordpress.com said...

this - this post right here - this gets two thumbs up and a "hell yeah!" from the frenchman. i seriously couldn't be much more happy for you, friend.

Brodie said...

You and I have been friends for about 6 months, but known each other for 10 years or so. And I must say, that I have never been more proud to say that I am friends with a cross dressing, balding, horrible poker player than I am right now. Seriously, I am glad you didn't do anything stupid either as I do value the friendship we have. Way to go.

snellycat said...

love this post so much! glad I know you even a wee bit and really glad you're here, you're happy and you're you. :)