I'm In Love With My Sadness...

So, if you follow me on facebook you'll notice that I have ranted all day. Believe me, this was a far better use of my time than the alternative. Ultimately what it comes down to is I got the "I'm sorry" text today. This set me off like you wouldn't believe. Ladies, if you want to stop seeing someone just fade away. You're not doing anyone a favor by trying to be nice about it. If you just disappear I at least get the satisfaction of thinking you're a bitch. And telling someone they're a good person does nothing. Really? I'm a good person? Just not good enough for you, right?

A year ago I would have just let it go and stewed in my own emotional and alcoholic cocktail until I had convinced myself I was okay. Not anymore. But, if I've learned anything in my years on this earth it's that when things go wrong it's usually a good idea to look at yourself first. I've been trying to figure out what exactly I've been doing wrong. In my last post I pretty much mapped out the minefield that has been my love life for the past two years. I've made a lot of changes in my life over the last nine months and acting like a grown up hasn't brought me any closer finding anyone. Hell, even my friends who are emotionally damaged beyond repair have someone in their life that they don't mind being seen in public with. So I've put together this short resume of sorts so you can tell me what I'm doing wrong. Here's what I've come up with:

At the very least I have a job, a car and a place to live. On the next level I'm funny and charming. I can cook. I like chick flicks. I listen. I want to know how you feel about things. I can intelligently carry on a conversation with anyone. I read actual books. I can use more than monosyllabic words. I keep up with what's going on in the world. I'm great with kids. I can admit when I'm wrong. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs. I won't sleep around on you. I don't have any psycho exes that will beat the crap out of your car with a baseball bat. I'm not passive/aggressive, I'll tell you what's bothering me. I'm genuinely a nice guy, and if that's not enough I can flip to asshole without missing a beat. And on a purely superficial level I'm hot and I'm great in bed.

So you tell me, what am I doing wrong? Am I too honest? Am I too secure with myself? Too confident? Do I scare you? Am I too good to be true? Too hot? Too smart? Too smartassed? Or is it just you?