You're My Best Friend...

I'm a great substitute boyfriend. And on a smaller level I'm a pretty good substitute gay best friend. Over the years I have consistently had really close female friends the kind you would see in a romantic comedy but without the underlying sexual tension. Eventually we all grew apart mostly due to new relationships. Usually I have been the one left behind for a new love. Even at thirty-six I am still amazed at how easily someone can just pick up and never look back. But that's a story for another blog.

What I am getting at here is that in the last two years I have lost three really close girl friends because of new relationships. But it goes back much farther than that. All the way back to elementary school I have had a string of girls who loved me until they found a new boyfriend and then they were gone. To their credit most of them stayed gone after the relationships ended. But while we were friends I was their world. Always there when they had fat days and bad hair days, when they needed advice on boys or were having girl drama. I can't tell you how many times I've been referred to as "one of the girls."

But I'm not one of the girls and I'm tired of being seen that way. It's true that I have a certain need for close girl friends in my life but that doesn't mean I'm always going to be there as a back up plan. With everything else that I'm going through right now some re-evaluation seems to be in order for all aspects of my life, including this one. I miss having a best friend but being a substitute boyfriend is not a title I'm eager to reclaim.