Mixed Nuts

My mind has been all over the place lately. It has been hard to focus and my sleeping pattern has been all off. Some of it is because I haven't taken my medicine like I'm supposed to. I have been taking it but in the last month I haven't taken it everyday. I was doing good with it but then I started forgetting to take it. As it stands I am about three doses behind right now. I'm sure that has a lot to do with my overall mood lately.

Saturday evening I was getting dressed to go out and reached into the interior pocket of the jacket I was wearing. I was surprised to find a note inside. It was written on a piece of green wrapping paper and said, "I love you Alan. Love, Emily." It reminded me that she gave me that jacket the Christmas before we were married. It was one of those moments that caught me off guard a little. It's been almost two years since our divorce was final and in the last year or so I really haven't thought much about how things were before. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

I had to go to a funeral last week. I had decided I wasn't going to anymore funerals a couple years ago. I wouldn't have gone to this one but I was asked to be a pallbearer and since she didn't have a lot of family I knew they needed someone to help out. I still maintain that we do funerals in the absolute wrong way. Sure, grieving is a process that we must all go through but I really think we do it wrong. I'll reserve my thoughts for another time.