Should've Been A Cowboy

That's me, I'm guessing about 4 or 5 years old. I do know this is at Christmas time and it's at my Grandparent's house. That woman over my left shoulder is my aunt Cynthia. Of all my family I'm probably the most like her. And if things had been a little different she might have been my mother. But that's a story for a different day (and not as weird as it sounds).

Little boys go through many, many phases in their lives and each little boy has his own unique "when I grow up I wanna be a ____." But all little boys at some point in their lives go through two distinct phases: firemen and cowboys. I REALLY wanted to be a cowboy when I was a kid. To this day my favorite sports team is the Dallas Cowboys. When I was a kid my favorite song was "Rhinestone Cowboy" (on a side note, there is a picture somewhere of me wearing that hat, holding a plastic blue guitar and singing "Rhinestone Cowboy." If I find it I'll post it as well) Are you starting to see a trend?

Anyway, I remember that hat and holster. They were some of my favorite things when I was a kid. I wore the hat and holster until it didn't fit me anymore and I had that metal cap gun until it rusted because I left it out in the rain. A few years ago I went through all my old toys and either sold them on ebay or threw them away. I seem to remember the hat going to the dump. I don't remember what happened to the holster. I do know that the white plastic bullets broke mysteriously about six months after the Christmas pictured above and were thrown away.

One thing that stuck in my head was the day John Wayne died. I have a very vivid memory of that night. My aunt Cynthia and uncle John were at the house and us kids were playing in front of the tv. The adults were playing Rook in the dinning room. It was June of 1979. In the middle of whatever re-run was on the tv a public service tape rolled across the bottom of the screen anouncing that John Wayne had died of cancer. The whole house fell silent for a few moments. The only other times I have ever seen television interupted to announce a celebrity death was Elvis and Frank Sinatra. John Wayne was a man's man and in my house he was held in the highest reguard (on par with Elvis but just below Jesus). To this day if AMC of TCM are showing a John Wayne western marathon you cannot move me from in front of the television.

I guess with most things in life you either grow out of them or grow apart from them. I never really grew out of the cowboy phase. When I was in high school the movie Young Guns came out and once it hit video I watched it every day for about six months. And I mean EVERY day. I could quote that movie from beginning to end. Then in 1993 Toby Keith released the song "Should've Been A Cowboy" and even though I was not a huge fan of country music at the time I did love that song. Especially since my Dallas Cowboys were on a run of winning back to back Super Bowls. How 'bout them Cowboys!!

You're probably looking at the picture above and asking yourself "what's so embarrassing about it?" Well here is where the shame comes in:

Yep, that's me and my Dad in Gatlinburg, 1995. I should've known better. But hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Nothing good ever follows that phrase.

But still, from time to time I break out my hat, (granted it's more Nikki Sixx than Roy Rogers these days), turn on the cowboy songs ("Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys," "El Paso," "Pancho and Lefty," and "Rhinestone Cowboy" are favorites and get many plays on my iPod) and think about what it could have been like. Then I remember that I like modern technology way too much. But still men never grow out of being a little boy and this little boy should've been a cowboy.